


yu gonplei ste odon (u lil fucker)

by CommanderPickUpLines



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Innuendo, Mild Sexual Content, clarke saves the day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderPickUpLines/pseuds/CommanderPickUpLines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke learns something new about Lexa</p>
            </blockquote>





	yu gonplei ste odon (u lil fucker)

**Author's Note:**

> this took way too long to write. writers block suck s...................
> 
> anyways this story was inspired cause thERE WAS A BITCH ASS SPIDER IN MY ROOM AND IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND I WAS PREPARED TO BURN DOW N M Y ROOM DOWN WHEN I COULDNT FIND IT............ but my mom saved me from that fate. @mom i love u.

Clarke and Lexa had agreed on having a night to themselves.

With finals right around the corner both of them were extremely busy and they had barely seen each other all week. So they made plans on having dinner at Clarke’s apartment and after that they would cuddle up and watch a movie, which would probably just turn in to them.... relieving stress.

Clarke was sitting on her couch browsing through Netflix, trying to pick a movie that both her and Lexa would enjoy, when there was a knock on her door. She stood up and strode over it, opening it too be met with her friend, Jasper who also happens to be the Chinese delivery guy.

Clarke couldn’t cook for shit. The last time she tried cooking herself and Lexa a meal she almost burnt her whole apartment to the ground, so she decided on not making that mistake again by ordering take-out.

‘Your take-out, _mademoiselle_.’ Jasper said with a butchered french accent, handing her the bag with food.

‘Thanks Jasper,’ She took the bag and handed him a 20 dollar bill. ‘So, how are you and Monty doing?’

‘We’re doing pretty good. As a matter of fact next weeks our 3 month anniversary.’

‘Wow, really? Has it already been 3 months?’

‘It has indeed. What about you and Lexa? How are you guys doing?’

‘We’re ok.’ Clarke shrugged. ‘Finals are both stressing us out so we decided to have a night to ourselves. And by that I mean order take-out and eat our weight in Chinese food.’

‘Mmm that’s cool. You know, I’m surprised you guys ordered take-out and aren’t going to go eat out.’ Jasper winked.

At that, Clarke shut the door in his face.

‘Oh come on Clarke! It was just a joke!’ Jasper laughed.

The blonde didn’t reply and went to her kitchen, setting the bag of food on the counter top. She started opening her cupboards and drawers grabbing plates, wine glasses and silverware.

Clarke grabbed everything and went to go set her coffee table. After that she proceeded to open all the food containers, the scent of Chinese food quickly filling her entire apartment.

There was another knock on her door. Clarke recognized it as Lexa’s, making her heart start to beat one mile an hour. It never failed to amaze Clarke that even after dating the brunette for a year now, the mere thought of the brunette made her heart flutter.

Clarke quickly checked herself out in the mirror, fixing her hair and running her hands down the length of her body, before skipping over to her door, eager to see her girlfriend, to open it. And once again, as always, she was left breathless. How is it possible for a specimen to be _so god damn attractive?_

‘Hello Clarke.’ Her girlfriend greeted her, smiling, ‘I brought wine.’ Lexa said, holding the arm that was carrying the wine up.

‘Hi baby.’ Clarke said before pulling her girlfriend in by her hips for a gentle kiss.

‘I missed you.’ The blonde said after parting from the kiss.

‘I missed you too Clarke.’ Lexa said, leaning forward to capture the blonde's lips in another kiss.

The brunette bit down on Clarke’s bottom lip, soothing it after by sliding her tongue across it, making the blonde groan. Lexa was about to deepen the kiss furthur but before she could Clarke pulled away, making her girlfriend whine in protest.

‘Later.’ Clarke simply said.

Lexa nodded.

Clarke took her hand and lead her to the couch where the food was lain out _all over_ the coffee table. The brunette quirked her eyebrow and looked at Clarke.

‘I might have gotten a little bit too carried away when I was ordering....’ Clarke explained sheepishly, bringing her hand up to rub at the back of her neck.

Lexa let out a long sigh.

'Hey, _you're the one_ who made me in charge of the food.'

‘Remind me to stop doing that.’

'Will do.' Clarke nodded.

The blonde went to go sit down on the floor in front of the coffee table. Lexa following suit. The brunette's eyes roamed over all the different types of foods Clarke had ordered. It was a mixture of all of her's and Clarke's favorites.

Lexa looked to her right to see that the blonde had already started stuffing food down her throat as if she hadn't eaten in days. The brunette let out a small sigh. She had a feeling that Clarke's cause of death would either be chocking or over-eating.

Lexa was reaching over for the noodles when movement to her left caught her eye. She looked towards where the movement had come from, and screamed like a six year old girl when she saw a spider crawling across the carpet floor. The brunette shot straight up from where she was sitting and ran over to the kitchen, knocking Clarke over in the process, and jumped on the counter tops.

'What the hell Lexa?!'

Lexa didn't say anything and just continued to stare at the spider with wide eyes. Clarke followed her line of sight and toppled over in laughter when she saw what her girlfriend had started screaming about.

'Clarke this isn't funny!' Lexa said trying to sound angry.

The blonde started laughing even harder, there were tears running down her face and she was clutching at her stomach. Never in a million years did she think that her girlfriend, Lexa 'love is weakness' Woods, would ever be scared of spider.

While Clarke continued to laugh her ass off, the spider started crawling towards the blonde so Lexa grabbed the nearest thing she could get her hands on and chucked it at the spider, making it scurry away under the couch.

'SHIT! Clarke! It went under the couch!' Lexa yelled.

'Jeez Lexa, calm down. It's just a small spider.' Clarke said, wipping the tears away from her face after coming down from her high, trying to reassure her girlfriend.

'A small spider?!?! That spider was the size of Russia!'

Clarke shook her head and sighed, she stood up and walked out of the living room.

'Clarke! Where are you going?! Don't leave me here with this demonic creature forged from the deepest pits of hell!' Lexa yelled after the blonde.

Moments later Clarke reappeared back in the living room with a broom and bug spray in her hand. She took her phone out and turned the back light on before laying down on the floor to look under her couch.

'Uh Lexa. You sure the spider went under the couch?' Clarke asked, standing back up.

'Yes. Why? Oh no. Clarke where is it. CLARKE WE ARE GOING TO-'

'Lexa don't move.' Clarke suddenly cut her off.

'What? Why?' Lexa asked, eyes going wide.

'The spider is on your-'

Before Clarke could even finish her sentence Lexa had fallen off the counter top, swatting at all parts of her body while running to the other side of the apartment screaming.

'CLARKE! Is it still on me?!?' 'Lexa calm d-' 'WHERE IS IT?' 'Lex-' 'CLARKE HELP.'

'LEXA.' Clarke yelled, 'It was just a joke!'

'What the actual fuck Clarke! That wasn't funny!'

'No, it was pretty funny.' Clarke grinned.

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows in the most adorable way and started pouting at Clarke. She looked like an angry toddler who's parents just told them they couldn't have candy.

'Aw baby come on.' Clarke said while walking towards her girlfriend.

Lexa held her hand up, making Clarke stop, 'No, your girlfriend privileges have been revoked until you find that spider and kill it.' The brunette said seriously.

Clarke was about to protest but Lexa gave her a look that it would be best if she didn't, 'Fine.' The blonde grumbled.

\------  
(20 minutes later.)

A few screams, reassurings from Clarke that they wouldn't have to burn her apartment to the ground and death threats from Lexa later and the blonde had successfully located and killed the spider.

'So can I have my girlfriend privileges back?' Clarke asked.

'You may.'

The blonde walked over to her girlfriend and kissed her.

Lexa pulled away and looked Clarke deep in her eyes, 'No one. I repeat no one. Can know about this.'

Clarke nodded.

'Can we go eat now?' Lexa asked.

'Oh yeah sure.' Clarke was about to turn around and walk back over to the coffee table but Lexa grabbed her wrist and shook her head.

'Not that kind of eating.'

'Oh..... OH.' Clarke's eyes went wide.

'I think I did enough screaming for the night. It's your turn now.' Lexa winked before walking towards Clarke's bedroom.

Clarke quickly followed after her, tripping over her own feet in the process. 

 

And just as Lexa said, Clarke did _**a lot**_ of screaming that night.

**Author's Note:**

> bless all of ur souls for reading
> 
> thoughts? feed back?
> 
> hit me up at yousexxyasshole.tumblr.com


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